Archive for the ‘Children: Self Confidence’ Category

Building child self esteem would have to be one of the most difficult tasks that parents face. First we have to ask ourselves, how is our own self esteem? You see, those who have self esteem issues will have difficulty building self esteem in their children. Being confident in ourselves is the first step in building child self esteem.

This doesn’t mean that if you have low self esteem that your children are doomed to suffer the same issue. Not at all, it simply means that building child self esteem will be more of a challenge for you. The good thing is, you already know at least some of the things that can undermine their confidence in themselves. Therefore, you know some of the pitfalls to avoid.

Life is a cycle in which we learn good and bad lessons from parents and peers. Whatever conclusions we draw from our experiences we pass on to the next generation, and they then pass it on to the next etc. Although it may be tempting to blame school or society for the issues children face, we have to keep in mind that most of the lessons they learn whether good or bad are learnt in the home. Remember the old saying, ‘children learn what they live’.

If we lack self esteem or have weight problems then it shouldn’t be surprising if our children face the same problems. If you watch every thing you eat and make a big deal of it because you’re worried about getting fat or if your self worth is based on how fat you are then don’t be surprised if your children think the same way.

If children think they can only be loved if their body is slim then maybe you need to look at your attitude. Do you comment about how unnattractive fat is? While it’s true that the media portray many narrowly circumscribed images that children aspire to (often inappropriately), it doesn’t help if all the magazine does is reinforce the messages they receive in the home.

Parents must take responsibility for raising their children. If you allow your children to rule the home then don’t be surprised when they don’t respect your authority. If you’ve permitted your children to control you rather than the other way around then they won’t permit you to control them without a fight.

Every child is unique and they need to understand who they are and why they were born. They need to be taught that self worth isn’t dependant on size, weight, or how well they perform academically. They need to understand that they are loved and accepted regardless of their appearance. Children should understand that even if they suffer weight related health issues they are still beautiful, worthwhile people. They need to feel accepted and understand that losing weight is important for their health but has nothing to do with their self worth.

Children hate the words overweight and obese because they don’t understand what the words means but receive the impression from society, peers and sometimes parents that it is ugly and means they are a failure. Name calling will only cause your children to lose self esteem. Teach them positive lessons so they can lose weight without losing self esteem. Encourage them in what they do, they might be good in an area then praise them. But don’t reward them with food. Children are crying out to be loved and many eat to fill that empty void, they want to be loved and accepted and have a good image about themselves.

Building child self esteem doesn’t have to be difficult. Try not to make negative comments about them. That can be easier said than done when they try your patience and you become frustrated and angry. If a child receives a positive message at home it can go a long way towards helping them deal with the negative messages they receive elsewhere.

It is important to evaluate your own self esteem to see what lessons you have taught your children, are they positive or negative? Remember both positive and negative lessons are learned and if they have low self esteem maybe it is because you have low self esteem.

This post does not constitute medical advice nor should it be substituted for professional medical advice. This post titled “Building child self esteem” is intended for informational purposes only.

Are you concerned about childhood obesity and depression. If you are worried that your child might be suffering from depression due to being overweight it may be a medical issue which needs to be addressed. You should always seek professional medical advice if you are concerned about this. Even if you are concerned that your child is suffering from depression for reasons unrelated to being overweight it is important to seek medical advice.

Unfortunately, childhood obesity and depression go hand in hand. We all know how cruel children can be, even children who are not overweight will be told they are fat and labelled as a ‘fatty’. This is especially true of children who prove themselves sensitive to this type of teasing. It is unfortunate but true that children LIKE pushing one anothers buttons. Even those who hate being teased will tease others because they just don’t grasp the concept of treating other people the way they would like to be treated. If course, if a child is overweight then the taunts they receive increase in frequency and can eventually destroy their self confidence and potentially cause depression.

A depressed child will exhibit many symptoms, including but not limited to; not wanting to play outdoors, binge eating unhealthy foods, not wanting to eat, bursting into tears at the slightest provocation and being overly self conscious. In extreme cases they may even give up the will to live. Older children and teens may even attempt suicide to escape a life they view as unbearable. Even death is a more pleasant prospect than life.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking this kind of issue only affects adults. Yes, it is probably more common in adults but children suffer too. Just look at the suicide rate among teenagers. Sure, the issues and stresses they face may seem so much less important than ours, but they are just as important to THEM! I’m sure you remember situations as a child that mortified you and made you feel really bad. Maybe your supposed best friend tattled a really embarassing secret around the school. Or maybe your love interest boasted to their friends about having sex with you. These situations are majorly upsetting to young people. For an overweight child, the constant attacks on their self esteem can become overwhelming.

So if you are concerned that your child may be depressed they should be seen by a physician or school counsellor who will examine the reasons for their depression. Hopefully they won’t need medication but some children do. Once you’ve dealt with the emotional aspect of the depression you need to address the root cause of the depression. If you don’t address the cause it is like putting a band-aid on a deep cut that requires stitches and expecting it to heal. The same is true for children who are suffering childhood obesity and depression.

Medication is like a band-aid, it addresses the superficial symptoms but until the eating and exercise habits are changed and the weight is lost nothing will change.

If your child is overweight or obese then you have the power to change what they eat. Yes they may be binge eating or a secret eater but you can still make some changes to see the problem changed. Have you ever see the television program ‘You are what you eat’? English nutritionist Gillian McKeith addresses the unhealthy eating habits of obese individuals and families. One of the things Gillian does is to go through the pantry and remove all the unhealthy foods and replace them with healthy foods. This is something you may need to do, remove the processed foods, cakes, cookies, crisps, sweets, chocolates etc until your child has learned to eat and appreciate healthy foods. Doing this will also stop them taking those things secretly, they can’t do that if there is none in the house!

Another benefit of removing junk foods from your childs diet is that it frequently causes a significant improvement in behavior. Here in Australia, there was a primary school in Queensland that banned all sugary and processed foods from the canteen and childrens lunch boxes during school hours. Within one week, almost all behavioral issues in students were resolved, fights, bullying, temper tantrums etc came to a virtual standstill. The children behaved better and focussed better in the classroom and over time the academic results of the school improved. The results of this experiment caused many parents to ban these products in the home also. I know that when my daughter consumes red food coloring she becomes unmanageable, defiant, bad tempered and even aggressive. The reason for these behavioral changes is the artificial additives found in processed foods.

It is also important that you spend time with your child discussing their feelings. They need to know that they can talk to you when they feel negative about a situation and that you will respond constructively to the issue.

Overweight or obese children are more likely to be bullied in the school environment so you may need to discuss the issue with the school principle and your child’s class teacher. If they know about the issue, and know specific children that are being cruel, they can watch for it. Some teachers are more helpful than others. But remember, if the teasing is caused by them being overweight then you need to consult your doctor for help with how to change the eating and exercise habits of your child in order for them to lose weight.

Something else that can help with childhood obesity and depression is to get your child involved in exercise. It may be impossible to motivate them to exercise on their own but if you get involved, go for a walk with them, play wii sports with them, put on a cd and dance with them etc. Anything that will get them up and moving.

Exercise doesn’t only improve fitness and tone muscles, it also releases ENDORPHINS. Endorphins are hormones produced by the brain that reduce pain and improve mood. In effect they are the bodys natural aspirin and anti depressant. Have you ever wondered why when you feel better after you exercise? This is the reason. This fact alone should encourage you to encourage your family to be active.

It is possible to help your depressed children. Here is a summary of the things you can do.

• Seek professional medical advice
• Talk to your child and find out what is making them depressed.
• Help them change their eating habits to lose weight and reduce peer teasing
• Encourage them to exercise as this will stimulate endorphin production and help them lose weight

With your help your child can overcome childhood obesity and depression!

Body image is a learned behavior. It’s learned from society, peers and family and it stays with us for life.

The effect of society on body image

The benchmark here is the fashion and entertainment industries. When you see fashion models are they realistically proportioned people? NO!!! The vast majority of them fit an extremely narrow segment of society… those with an hourglass figure. Most female models in particular are size 4-8… despite the average size being 12-14. Keep in mind that these girls are most probably underweight. If we compare ourselves to them, of course we end up feeling like big fat blimps!

It’s important to teach your children that very few people could ever fit this ideal since it is based on the classic hourglass figure and only 5% of people have this figure type. For anyone else to reach these proportions it would be physically impossible, not to mention extremely unhealthy. If your child is in their mid teens it’s probably a good idea to help them identify their own body type to help avoid comparisons. If they DO have an hourglass figure it’s probably best to focus on healthy body size… you might want to calculate their BMI with them. To learn how to do this visit How to calculate BMI

The effect of peers on body image

Children are extremely impressionable and dependent upon the approval of others. So when their peers say they are fat, ugly or whatever, children take it to heart. Of course, children don’t have the maturity to understand what is and isn’t a healthy size. Combine that with the fact that children can be extremely cruel because they haven’t learned to treat others as they want to be treated. These factors mean a child can receive some extremely negative messages about their body at a time when they desperately need positive affirmations.

The effect of family on body image

While most of the blame for body image issues goes to the fashion and entertainment industries, what children see at home can also have a negative impact. For example, when we make negative comments about our body our children hear that and trust our opinion… we’re their parents after all, adults who must therefore be right about these things… NOT!!! Children use our opinions to create their own perceptions of appropriate body size. Thus, the more negative we are, the more negative they learn to be. This relates to any part of the body, whether it be our bottom, thighs, love handles, face, arms, neck, whatever part of our body we don’t like. Unfortunately, children learn from that.

Constantly talking about being ‘on a diet’ or ‘trying to lose weight’ has the same effect. Think of ‘diet’ as a dirty word! Again, children learn from this. All they have is inaccurate perceptions provided by other people. Without educated knowledge of what is and isn’t a healthy body size it can have a very detrimental effect on their body image.

It is important to educate children about their body as they approach those turbulent teenage years when they start to take control of their own lives and truly become an individual. But how do we do this so they will develop a healthy body image?

Here are a few tips:

1. Avoid making negative comments about YOUR body in front of your child, even if you think they’re not around.
2. Switch negative comments to positive by changing the ‘I’m on a diet’ line to ‘I’m being health conscious’ (being on a diet is negative, being health conscious is positive). Don’t mention trying to lose weight especially if you’re only trying to lose a small amount
3. Avoid making negative comments about their body like ‘gosh you’re getting chubby’ because if their peers are making comments you’ll just be reinforcing the negative body image
4. Help your child understand that society has an unrealistic ideal because they focus on only one body type when there are many body types (and show them those body types). Teach them how trying to conform to society’s unrealistic ideal is not only impossibe, but extremely unhealthy when they don’t have that body type.
5. Help your child understand that their peers are just spouting what they see in the fashion and entertainment industry when they make negative comments about one anothers bodies.
6. If they need to lose weight, don’t tell them you’re putting them on a diet, just substitute some healthy options like fruit for high energy, high sugar, high fat content snacks.
7. Most importantly – Make sure you provide positive affirmations about their physical appearance like; you have a good figure, you’re well built, you’re pretty/handsome etc

Many people have bad experiences in their childhood including with eating habits. Some parents allow their children to eat anything they like simply because it’s easier than trying to encourage healthy eating habits. Often, parents are so busy that a fast meal of pizza or fish fingers and oven baked fries is easier than preparing a traditional meal of meat and three vegetables. Consequently, many children will experience the side effects of these unhealthy practices with the occurrence of health problems long into their adult years.

As parents, we are responsible to feed our kids and protect them from developing eating disorders as much as we possibly can. Healthy eating habits should be established during childhood to help them adapt easily to strict health diets.Unfortunately, children and teenagers are more likely than adults to develop eating disorders such as bulimia, anorexia nervosa, compulsive eating disorder and binge eating disorder. The reason for this is because children have neither the maturity nor the knowledge to understand what is and isn’t a healthy body image. Combine these factors with the fact that children and teenagers are overly sensitive to the opinions of their peers and you have a volatile mix of negative issues that can really mess with your child’s head. This is why it is crucial for us as parents to develop healthy eating habits and a healthy, realistic body image in our children.

Many health problems in young children are related to their eating habits. However, even if you provide them the proper food groups in their meals, they can still develop eating disorders if the issue of body image is not addressed. Children frequently have no interest in eating fruits and vegetables. In these days of fast foods and even faster lifestyles, it is only natural that children would show a preference for junk foods that are high in fats and sugars. Therefore, the responsibility to convince and motivate them to practice a healthy lifestyle depends on how you implement the dietary foods they need. You may want to follow these tips about how to help your child maintain a healthy body on their own.

Firstly, teaching your children when to eat is very important in controlling their diet. Most eating disorders in children are the results of miscommunication between the child and the parent about the right amount and type of meal to be served. Be considerate in providing food that your children love to eat but keep in control about the type and amount they are allowed to eat. By doing this, you can balance their diet without forcing them to follow a low fat diet. You should also discuss with them the side effects of not practicing healthy eating habits (including obesity). Allowing them to control their eating habits on their own can be a good start in helping them adapt a healthy lifestyle.

Moreover, do not use rewards and punishments in motivating them to eat healthy foods. Instead educate them about the health benefits of the food they eat and be constructive on how to approach them. Instead of forcing them to eat well, you can say that they can feel much better if they eat the right foods. Most eating disorders in children are significantly affected by their emotions. Therefore, you should always use a positive approach on fulfilling your children’s needs especially about choosing what they should eat and what they should not.

Compulsive overeating can be very difficult to address, especially when a child has difficulty in coping with changes in the daily eating habit. This can be a major problem for children since they are more active and are therefore more prone to becoming hungry compared to adults. Although you can find a compulsive eating disorder treatment nowadays, it is still best to prevent the main causes of this behavior before such treatment becomes necessary.

Finding a compulsive eating disorder treatment may require you to analyze the major causes of this condition. According to experts in behavior of children, most children experiencing this eating disorder have an emotional dependency on the food they like to eat. Emotional eating is a potential threat to your child’s health since it can make it impossible to follow a healthy diet and cause obesity. Although this can be a very serious health problem, this can still be treated by compulsive eating disorder treatment. It is very important to make the necessary steps to correct your child’s eating habits as soon as possible to prevent further problems that may arise when they reach their teenage years. Aside from health problems, the discrimination of society toward obese people is a serious emotional concern for your child if not addressed. Forcing kids to undergo compulsive eating disorder treatment by identifying the main source of the problem may not be easy when the case is crucial to the health of the child. However, you can implement other activities to reduce the tendency to overeat.

You may want to consider the following tips to help alleviate compulsive eating. Firstly, having a regular five-minute walk can help your children keep away from thinking about eating all the time. This involves distracting the child from thoughts of food and can be very helpful in battling food cravings as well as the impulse of the body to reach for the food available on the refrigerator. Moreover, introducing your child to have a phone friend can also help them control their eating habits. Having someone to talk to your children can reduce their attention to food cravings during free time.

Another method is to substitute healthy foods where they would usually be eating cakes, biscuits, chips and muesli bars. This reduces both calorie and fat intake as well as providing nutritional elements that are crucial to children’s growth.

Lastly, putting smaller meals on their plate or lunch boxes can help them have a limit on their food intake. (The substitution method works well here as well). Although this may seem a little too much for your child to bear, this can be very effective in helping them reduce their calorie intake and the same time, significantly remove their tendency to eat more.